It is quite different coming home a second time. When I came home in January, I was pretty well filled with confidence about the future. I knew that I came home sick, was going to get well, then would return to Missionary Service. Well this time, I have no clue what's happening. I don't know what will happen next and what to do. My deferment at BYU is now void and I have to reapply for admission but the application deadline is past. I don't have a job. Most my friends are on missions. It's kinda like I just don't know where I fit in. Satan will always try to have us dwell on the negative so that our future seems dark and seemingly hopeless. While it may seem dim up ahead, the Light of Christ always continues to shine.
This surely isn't what I wanted. I have waited my whole life to go on a mission. I wanted it so bad that I returned in a second attempt to serve. Sometimes our righteous desires go unanswered so that we can learn an even greater lesson. What that lesson is, I haven't quite figured out. I just know, I have to try my hardest!
"Verily, verily, I say unto you, that when I give a commandment to any of the sons of men to do a work unto my name, and those sons of men go with all their might and with all they have to perform that work, and cease not their diligence, and their enemies come upon them and hinder them from performing that work, behold, it behooveth me to require that work no more at the hands of those sons of men, but to accept of their offerings."While I of course desire to be out serving the Lord, I know that He understands. He knows my heart more perfectly than anyone and He knows that I tried my best. He has accepted my offering.